Can you remember?

This has been running through my head for the past couple of days.

I am reading this book, A Million Little Ways, by Emily P. Freeman. About uncovering the art we were created to live. (Amazing book!!!!) She talks about first thoughts. Those raw, honest, knee jerk thoughts that we have to statements, questions and situations. She said something that really resonated with me: "Many of us have spent our entire lives editing out our first thoughts.  We do this for all kinds of reasons-to avoid critique, prevent failure,  please people, or simply because we can't see how they will logically fit into our lives." 

There was a period of my life when I believed a lot of lies. One of which was that my thoughts and feelings were invalid, irrelevant, unimportant. That I had nothing of value to contribute to projects or conversations, no advice to give. That I had no voice. So I would walk this internal line. Measuring every word before I said it. Weighing it to see how it would come across, whether it would make sense or not. Whether it would contribute anything of worth to the conversation. Avoiding anything that might make me sound foolish or silly or bring ridicule. And if it failed in any of those areas I would simply not say it. I would tuck it away with all of my other unspoken words.

She talked about how first thoughts have tremendous energy. They are the things that we actually see and feel before our rational and logical selves intervene. It is our true self. Honest, raw, imperfect. I had started bypassing that part of my thinking because raw and imperfect weren't allowed. They were too much of a risk. It left you open, vulnerable. Instead my immediate responses would be based on what I thought would be most well received. Over the past few years I have been working to change those patterns.  To get rid of the automatic responses and give myself space to identify what I really think and feel. Space to be honest, with myself and others. To find those places, my community where I can share my raw, imperfect self instead of hiding it away. And do you know what I have found? That in those open, vulnerable moments true relationship happens. Because when you take the step to be raw, messy and real, it gives someone else the freedom to do the same. To lower their guard and dare to be simply, honestly, themselves. To discover who they really are. To realize that they have value. That their thoughts and words have worth and influence. Then the lies start to crack. They don't hold the weight that they once did. They break off under the pressure of truth. And that is freedom.

So what lies do you need to crack?

Because just in case no one else is speaking this to you, let me tell you a few things. 

You are beautiful and you are brave. You have incredible worth. You are enough. Period. You are strong and you are tender. You will make mistakes and have great successes, remember that the former doesn't diminish the later. You have a voice. One that can shout victory from the mountaintops and whisper comfort in the valley. You have influence - people around you who need you. Your smile, your humor, your tears, your heart. You matter. The little, everyday, seemingly mundane things matter. You were created by a Father who delights in you - the real you, in all of your messy imperfections. You are chosen and dearly loved.

Remember that.

"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection." 

Keep Dreaming!