Then The Chrysties Had A Farm E-I-E-I-O...

So maybe farm is a bit of an overstatement but....we have chickens!!!!

Six to be exact. And the kids are sooooo excited! (Let's be honest, Jeremy and I are too!) The weather has been awful lately and the kids have been plastered to our kitchen window for an inordinate amount of time watching the chickens. I am sure that the initial enthusiasm will wear off but for now I am enjoying their excited reactions to the everyday and quite mundane chicken activity. "Mom, one of them fluffed up her feathers!!!" "Hey I saw one of them fly up to the roosting bar!!!" "Look they are scratching the ground and eating the grass!!!" I mean forget cable tv, this is first rate entertainment we have going on here! =)

It made me think about seasons of waiting and what we do with and in them. I feel like in many areas of life we are in seasons of waiting. Some have a specific timeline and some are unknown. 

Where animals are concerned, chickens are just the beginning. If we are talking long term dreams here they would also include a milk cow, a few beef cows, maybe some pigs and who knows what else will be added to that list! Eventually we want to buy some land and head that direction, but it is simply not the season for that right now. I used to think that "waiting" was equivalent to "nothing happening", but I feel like that is inaccurate. There are usually steps you can be taking or small goals you can accomplish, even when the big picture is unattainable.

If we think about waiting as a complete standstill it can be hard to keep our dreams and motivation alive. We can easily grow discouraged and frustrated with life. But if we remember that everything has a purpose, even waiting, it helps us keep a good perspective on where we are and where we are going. Then we can identify those little steps that will lead us in the direction of our final goal and find joy, excitement and beauty in the waiting.

So for now we will enjoy having our chickens, gathering fresh eggs every day, and we will keep working in our waiting in all areas of life. I hope that you do the same!

Keep Dreaming!

 

Parenting rant ahead....

This came up in my pinterest feed a little while ago and has been stuck in my head ever since. To be honest I don't agree with it. I get that whoever wrote it was probably trying to give everyone warm fuzzies about a mother's sacrificial love for her children, but for me it has the opposite effect. I feel like these kinds of statements make motherhood seem like this freefall of loosing yourself to guarantee the all important happiness and success of your children. That the moment you have a child you give up your right to dream, to pursue what you are passionate about. That if your world isn't consumed with satisfying your child's wants and desires you are selfish. Destined to be labeled a "bad parent". This might be one reason why moms deal with so much guilt. There is this idea that we need to give our kids perfection. Perfect birthday parties, perfect clothes, perfect opportunities. That we should soften every blow, enroll in every fun event or activity, run ourselves ragged in the name of creating a "perfect childhood".

What if there is no such thing? What if you are actually a better parent when you have an outlet all your own? When you pursue a dream? When you take some time for yourself? What if parenthood was never meant to be all about making a child happy and instead about teaching that child about life? What if being the center of the universe isn't good (not to mention realistic) for anyone, let alone little humans who are already prone towards a self centered attitude.

I personally think that kids need to see their parents passionately pursuing their God given dreams. They need to see that there are things worth fighting for, working hard towards, making sacrifices for. They need to see that excitement and passion for things doesn't just stop when you "grow up". They need to know that God didn't give us our unique personalities and purposes for a short while and then boom they are done. I definitely believe that there are seasons in life, each with there own set of responsibilities, struggles and triumphs. But I don't believe that God takes the time to create us for a purpose only to cut that off when we have children.

And I see the struggle. The passionate dreamer both wanting to have a baby and terrified that it means the end. The end of purpose, passion, and adventure. I for one think God is a better planner than that. I think the children He will give that dreamer will be better off because of her passion, her outlook on life, her love of adventure. The gifts and callings that God gives us in life don't have to compete with our relationships with our children, instead they can enhance them and teach them more than we will ever know.

Keep Dreaming!

Thoughts On Homeschooling - Vol. 1

Soooo....it has been a while! =) It seemed like we hit November and then everything blurred and before I knew it we were solidly into 2016! November-January tends to feel like our busiest season with both of the kiddos and myself having birthdays on top of the normal Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. We traveled to visit family for Christmas which was a wonderfully long and relaxing break and then jumped back into school when we returned. We are on our second year of homeschooling (woohoo!!!) and in the past month-ish I have had several conversations with different people about this topic which have really made me reflect on our ongoing journey.

In my opinion there is no "one size fits all" education. I know families with kids in public school, private school, homeschool or some combination of those options. And guess what? They are all doing just fine! =) I am a firm supporter of "do whatever works for your family". What is perfect for one family won't necessarily work for another. Some kids blossom in a more social setting while others thrive with one on one instruction. Parenting in general seems to be polarized with a "my way" vs. "your way" philosophy drawing lines on opposite sides of the field and educational choices are sometimes no different. How about we take a moment to acknowledge that just like every person is unique every family combination is as well. Then we can all just cheer each other on in the pursuit of things that really matter instead of getting caught up in trivial differences! 

That being said I want to chat about homeschooling since that is where we are right now. =) It is such a good fit for our family and we are loving it! The flexible schedule, incredibly small class sizes (lol), and time together as a family are definitely in the plus column but I think one of our favorite things about homeschooling is that you have the ability to personalize it to your child(ren). It goes beyond their basic interests and into their learning styles, strengths and weaknesses, individual personalities, etc. Say they are breezing through a subject and are completely bored - feel free to give them something more challenging.  If they are struggling in an area - no problem! Simply hang out there for a little while longer till they are confident with it. I. Love. This. Does that mean that our school experience is all sunshine and butterflies and our kids jump out of bed each day with a smile begging to start their work? Not at all!!! We have our frustrating days (sometimes weeks!). There are times when things aren't working and we have to reevaluate to find a better fit. Bottom line though is that this journey it is completely worth it and has proven to be a great fit for our family!

Honestly I could probably talk all day about the things we love about homeschooling but then this would get a little long...

So here is my official plug for homeschooling! ;) If you are happy with your current school options then carry on and enjoy it! But if you are interested in homeschooling at all, if you think it would be beneficial for your family/child, if you..........................(fill in the blank with your personal reason here). DO. IT. Or at least seriously look into it! =) Don't talk yourself out of it, don't disqualify yourself in your mind before you even start, don't let yourself get overwhelmed! Can it feel like a really big deal to be responsible for your child's education? Absolutely! But you aren't alone. There are so many great resources, groups, curriculum options, etc. out there right now. Take a breath and go one step, one decision at a time.

Keep Dreaming!

Dreams are worth the risk.

So a friend sent me a link to this song today. And it broke me. Completely undone. It was one of those moments where God shines this spotlight on where you have been and where He has brought you. And there is such a contrast that the sheer blessing of it overwhelms.

You guys a few years ago I choose a path that so many people discouraged me from. It was the hardest most brutal thing I have ever done. I couldn't see the outcome and the only thing I was sure of was that God was walking it with me. I had to take back ground that I had lost and ground that I had never had in the first place. It was a battle, but I found life.

One thing I know about life is that there are no guarantees. It can be beautiful in joy, terrifying in pain and every possible step in between. And there are times when the only thing to do is to let go. Of everything we thought and pictured and dreamed. And stand with our empty hands, breaking hearts and shattered lives; trusting that the God who creates beauty from ashes and joy from sorrow is at work to fill those empty places.

I also know that God gives dreams again. Some He will resurrect from the fire while some will be brand new, unexpected and almost scary in their possibilities. Let yourself dream. Don't hide them away because you know what it is like to lose them and you think the only way to really keep them is to push them deep down. Dreams are gifts. They are meant to be shared, encouraged, kept alive. I read somewhere once that "Bravery is daring to dream on the other side of great loss." When everything feels fragile and so very breakable. For me dreaming is the difference between simply surviving and truly living. I have done both and if I can convince you of one thing let it be that dreams are worth the risk. 

I will be stepping outside of my comfort zone later this week. To be honest, it scares me and I needed this reminder today. I needed to remember what God has done. His faithfulness to me in every circumstance I have ever faced. That He has placed me right here, right now, for a reason. To remember other scary steps I have taken and the grace and beauty He has poured out as a result. Maybe you need to look back and remember today as well. Or maybe you are in the middle of it all and you need to look forward and dream. Either way I am praying for you!

Keep Dreaming!

Don't look away

I have been trying to write this post for over a week now but the words just keep getting stuck. Stuck in the place with all of the emotions.

Sometimes it feels as though the entire world is mourning something. Like every direction you look you can see the outpouring of grief. It is almost tangible. You can see it around the world, in your country, across town and down the street. Broken dreams, devastation, loss, heartbreak, terror, the list seems unending. There are days all you see is the rough and jagged edges of life that splintered and broke in seemingly unimaginable ways. It might be your life, the life of a close friend or family member, or the life of a stranger splayed out across the internet for anyone to see. It is evident in blank looks, angry glares, passionate outbursts, shutting down, silent tears or desperate wails.

Those are the days that weigh down with their heaviness. The days of whispered prayers because you simply can't speak any louder. The days where you fight for the glimmer of hope. You put one foot in front of the other and push forward. Through the confusion and questions. Through the tears. On those days I am tempted to close my eyes. To take every distraction. To simply not see. There is too much that I cannot fix and it is overwhelming. But if we refuse to look at pain whether our own or someone else's, we disconnect when we need desperately to engage. To engage in community, in relationship, in prayer, in love.

I used to think that if my contribution wouldn't be enough to make a noticeable change then it wasn't worth anything, but I have since changed my mind. At the end of the day I would rather have done something, anything, than nothing at all. Sometimes that looks like a phone call, a text message or a hug. A donation to the people with boots on the ground to meet a physical need on the other side of the world. No matter what it always means prayer. To the God who sees all and knows all. Yesterday our pastor was talking about the time period just before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and he said something that I have heard before but just hit where I was right now. That Jesus saw their pain. He was moved by their grief. He joined them in their sorrow. I am comforted by the fact that we serve a God who seems to cradle us the gentlest when we are at our most broken. Who doesn't lack compassion but instead sees our pain. And although there are so many times I wish He would simply erase the pain it is a precious thing that He walks so closely beside us through it.

My former small group leaders, Sam and Grace, are walking through a valley right now, long and dark. The loss of a precious child. And they are sharing that valley. Not on the other side when life is patched together, but in real time where honesty is the only option. It is incredibly brave to bare your soul at your breaking point. When everything is a raw and gaping wound. To be real about your pain and to allow others to respond about theirs in the hopes that understanding and healing can spread between words and hearts and lives. You can read Grace's beautifully honest words here and please be praying for them.

As people who have a promise of hope and peace in the midst of great storms we need to see. Don't turn away. Don't close your eyes. Simply do what you can, where you are, with what God has given you. You might not always see a noticeable change in the situation, but it will always change your heart. Sometimes I think that is half the point.

Keep Dreaming!

Don't let the wolves in!

My world is quiet. It is the end of the day and the house is still.  And I find myself craving the busy. The noise. The distraction. It has been a long week (aka three weeks) and I don't want to look back. I don't want to dig deep and analyze my feelings. I don't want to ask myself what has been going on beneath the surface. Because I know what is going on. I am hiding. It is evident by the stack of dishes beside my sink, the to do list left untouched and the type of clothes I have been choosing to put on each day. I pull out items based on emotion. That favorite shirt that has warm and comforting memories attached to it, the insanely comfortable "travel pants" that I am wearing at this exact moment, the loose t-shirts that I can pull on as though I am pulling a shield over my very self.

There are times when you feel the accusations everywhere you look. When the guilt threatens to choke the very joy out of you. If you could only be more, do more, say more, finish that project, organize that room, keep everything clean, be a better parent/wife/friend/etc. And let me tell you all of the distractions in the world won't help one bit. Ignoring just makes the monster bigger. The only way to kill the monster is to face it.

So you open your mouth and the words spill out. Messy and painful and disappointed. And with each word the emotions lessen and you see the monster for what it is - the attempt of an enemy who has already been beaten to distract you, belittle you, derail you.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago. In my dream it was nighttime and I was in the living room of a house. I could sense that something was wrong or there was danger of some sort because I was checking the locks and looking out the windows. That is when I saw it bounding down the sidewalk towards the house, a massive wolf. Ferocious in the moonlight and the shadows. Without slowing it turned up the walk, bounded onto the porch and straight towards the front door. The only thought I had in my mind was this lock will never hold. And I was right. As I ran to brace the door with my hands it burst open and the wolf stood snarling mere feet away from me. I woke up with the words "Don't let the wolf in!" running through my head.

After the adrenaline faded (my dreams tend to be very vivid and lifelike), I of course started analyzing. My initial tendency is to take things literally so I immediately thought about guarding against a physical threat. But in hindsight I feel like this was spiritual. I also think that in focusing on the literal, I left the important things wide open and unprotected.

Every time that we let a negative thought run freely through our mind we are letting a wolf in. Every guilt trip (self-imposed or otherwise) that we give value to, every list of our shortcomings and past failures, every "I should have....", "if only I was...."  speech that we give ourselves, is a wolf. Ferocious, snarling and ready to tear us apart .

We have got to understand the importance of guarding our minds and our hearts!  We need to realize that there is a fight going on and we need to be vigilant about protecting our territory. Our homes, our relationships, our dreams and God given purpose. We need to be fighting for those things. They are worth every effort! We need to be in the word, in prayer and in community. Friends you and I can never fortify our "homes" enough. We can never guard every angle or protect every blind spot. Not alone anyway. We were never meant to do life alone. We need community. We need people to have our backs while we in turn have theirs.

So when you find yourself in the place of guilt and accusations, don't make the mistake of thinking you are alone. Find one of your people and let the words out. Listen to the truth that God speaks over you. Install deadbolts and solid steel doors on your "house" and fight for those things in life that are worth the battle! And if you happen to see someone else struggling in that place fight for them! Listen with grace to their words and be a truth speaker to remind them of how precious they are to God. I know I talk a lot about speaking truth, but it is hands down the best way to combat the lies. This past week in particular my husband and a dear friend spoke truth to me when I needed it and it breathed absolute life into me. Just as every lie is a wolf, every truth is a piece of armor. Build your armor and the armor of your people so thick that the wolves don't stand a chance.

Keep Dreaming!

Be Vulnerable. The End.

Ok folks....it has been about a month since I last posted on here. I feel like I spilled my heart and soul onto a page, hit publish, and then ran away like a scared little kid. It was surely too much, I was surely too much. Too much honesty, too much emotion, too raw, too messy....bottom line too vulnerable. That's the main issue right there. Vulnerable. It feels vulnerable to put words to your heart and soul when we are conditioned to guard and protect it. To keep it hidden and therefore "safe". But hidden is also where things can get smothered or forgotten or reasoned away.

You know what the funny thing was? Out of all of my posts that one got the most feedback. The one that scared me the most was the one that people seemed to connect with. What is it about seeing the raw in others that makes us want to respond? That gives permission for us to be vulnerable in return? What do you think would happen if we all took the time to do something vulnerable that scared us? Think about that a minute. Out of the million and one inspirational quotes we could insert here "Be the change you want to see in the world." is the only one that comes to mind at the moment so we are just going to roll with it! =) We don't get through life without hitting any rough patches. We know well the hard and the shattered places. In a world of broken and hurting people it is time for us as women to stand up bravely in our vulnerable spots and allow others to respond in the same. That is where God's grace will pour into every situation, where true healing can happen and where we get the incredible opportunity to link arms with our sisters and stand together! I am a firm believer that no one can truly thrive in this journey alone. We can survive, yes, but God has a whole different world in mind for us beyond simply surviving.  

Y'all God is doing things in my heart and life right now. Stirring longings for community and authenticity in relationships like never before and here's the deal - I know I am not alone in this. I have talked to women who are in this same boat. Women who love those real connections, who love encouraging other women, or who have no idea what that reality would feel like but still desperately long for it. So here is my challenge to you. Put yourself out there with me for a minute by commenting either here on this blog, on the facebook or instagram links, or in a private message. It can be one word or one hundred words, but answer one of these questions - What is one area where you feel vulnerable? What is one dream is God asking you to believe in? What is one step He is asking you to take in faith?

And stay tuned for pics and stories from our Montana trip, detours and all! ;)

Keep Dreaming!